Dishonesty

...The Killer of Trust!

 

A few weeks ago my quarterly article “Killers and Cornerstones” was released.  The motivation for that writing was the result of this question presented to me at a conference:

 

 “In your experiences coaching and developing organizational leaders have you observed a set of common behaviors that have a destructive impact on leadership?”

 

The answer is yes and resulted in the writing of the article, “Killers and Cornerstones.”  In that article I identify what I believe to be four killers and four foundational cornerstones of effective leadership.  To refresh your memory, they are:

 

Leadership Killers	Leadership Cornerstones
Dishonesty	Trust
Hypocrisy	Authority
Unreliability	Dependability
Disreputability	Respect

 

 

As you read the list I ask you to keep in mind that these are what I believe to be “make it or break it” traits for all leaders.  Think of it like this; dishonesty is the killer of trust, hypocrisy the killer of authority, unreliability the killer of dependability, and disreputability the killer of respect.  In a nutshell, I believe the killers actually reduce once effective or potentially effective leaders from an authority-based leadership approach to one that is entirely based on power and control.  Further, I believe the killers not only reduce effectiveness but entirely demolish leadership capacity altogether.

 

In this writing I am focused on dishonesty, the killer of trust.

 

Dishonesty…The Truth it Brings

Can dishonesty bring truth? I believe it does.  The truth that dishonesty brings – however - is never about the fable, white lie, small story, big lie, theft, misappropriation, ill intentions, cover-up etc… it is always about the person choosing to be dishonest.  And the plain truth is that a dishonest person is not trustworthy.  Thus, dishonesty kills trust and once trust is gone, leadership suffers.

The Value of Trust

 

Can you put a value on trust?  People both need and want to trust those who lead them.  While dishonesty and lost trust have been the failing points for many leaders throughout the course of history, it seems that many leaders do not pay attention to lessons learned from those blunders.  In my limited experiences I have seen it over and over, again and again - honesty and trust - sacrificed in the name of profit, political correctness, personal appearance, public relations etc… The most damming of all is that I have seen honesty and trust sacrificed for the purpose of personal gain, political aspiration and social achievement both inside and outside of a given leader’s inner circle and organization.

 

Trust is a leader’s most prized possession.  It is a foundational cornerstone to leadership.  For me, it is trust that allows me to ask people to follow me toward new ideas and concepts.  It is trust that allows me to ask people to stick with me during hard, uncertain, uncomfortable, or changing times.  It is trust that allows me to break bad news and have it received without a devastating impact on the entire organization.  Simply put, honesty and trust must be respected and safeguarded, even if it means that I admit when I am wrong or I have made a mistake.  And that is very often hard to do.

 

It is my belief that trust is achieved – 100% - through honesty.  Any break in my honesty begins to chisel at the trust granted me by those I lead.  So trust is achieved – plain and simple – through honesty!

 

Deadly Mistakes – The Look of Dishonesty

 

Fill in the blank - perception is ________.  To often leaders lose sight that perception is very much indeed reality.  The appearance of dishonesty is just as deadly as dishonesty.  Leaders must make every effort to avoid the appearance of dishonesty.  Whether you are a frontline supervisor, middle manager, or the CEO – you must work to maintain your honesty and safeguard the trust of those you lead.  The following is a list of behaviors I have observed that lead to loss of trust as a result of broken honesty:

Lying.

There are three types of lies that are typically perpetrated.  They are the white lie, the bold lie, and the protective lie.  Each is told with its own self-created legitimacy or rationalization.

 

• The white lie is a “safe” lie.  The story line to self here is “my little white lie will hurt no one.”  The reality is that the person telling the white lie simply does not want to tell the truth – for whatever reason, justification or rationalization– it is simply easier to lie.  As you know, the beauty of the white lie is that is grows and compounds over time and eventually spirals out of control. 
• The bold lie is the one often told out of fear.  Typically the person perpetrating the lie knows with 100% certainty that the information being provided is flawed or wrong.  The story line to self here is “I must do this or face some type of severe consequence” or “I must do this because people will not understand my situation.” There is no excuse for this except for lack of character – even if the truth if difficult or hard to tell or hard to hear. 
• The protective lie is the one told to protect people.  The story line to self here is “I must tell this lie for another person’s good.”  Again, there is no excuse for this except for lack of character.

Stealing.

There are three types of stealing that are typically perpetrated.  These are the theft of items or services, theft of personal confidence and theft of reputation.  Each of these thefts occurs with its own self-created legitimacy or rationalization.

• Theft of items or services.  The story line here is “I deserve, want or need this.  I have worked hard – and since I don’t get what I need-  and my work is not fairly rewarded – I will take this item or service.  After all – I deserve it.”  The reality is that whatever or however a person rationalizes taking something that is not theirs, does not offset the fact they are stealing.
• Theft of confidence.  This occurs when you are asked to hold confidence of a situation, set of data, etc…  The story line here is “I will share this information… maybe it will make me look important… maybe it will give me power… maybe people will like or respect me if I reveal this information…”  the reality is that when this occurs, confidence is broken and a person shows themselves as untrustworthy.
• Theft of reputation.  This occurs when you share information about other people outside of their presence and without their knowledge or consent.  The story line here is “I need to help this person… or this person needs my help… or I am doing this for their own good…or I am doing this to warn others…or this person doesn’t deserve the respect I do.”  The list of rationalization can get long when dealing with our own behavior in relation to others.  However, regardless of the accuracy of the information, the theft of reputation still points back to the character of the person disseminating information, regardless of their intention.

Whether it is dishonesty through lying or stealing, the cost is loss of trust!  People see and hear what you do!  People simply need to look within themselves to correct these behaviors and build trust with those they lead.

Be honest in:

• All that you do
• How you behave
• How you treat others
• How you deliver good news
• How you deliver bad news
• How you handle your emotions

Create an environment: 

• That is open and forthright
• Where honesty is revered, not feared
• That allows people to be honest in mistake making
• That is focused on solving problems not placing blame

The Flipside…

Now consider this, on the flipside of honesty is the cornerstone of trust.  It is honesty that creates trust, a foundational cornerstone of effective leadership.  It is this cornerstone that I believe creates not only effective leaders, but exceptional leaders.  Keep in mind that many people who hold leadership positions do not posses these cornerstones.  Hence, there are discrepancies amongst marginal, good, great, and exceptional leaders.  In my estimation, the exceptional leader is the one who has all of the cornerstones serving as a foundation to their philosophy and behavior.  I assure you, if the cornerstone of trust is compromised, both leadership effectiveness and exceptionality will be negatively impacted.

Correcting Dishonesty and Rebuilding Trust…

 

So Ron, all of this sounds great but what do I do if I have been dishonest and have destroyed the trust of others?  Well – this is a challenge – but – not one that cannot be met.  The question you must answer is this; “Am I willing to take true ownership – without rationalization or blame toward others - for times when I have failed to maintain honesty and trustworthiness?”  If the answer is yes, then consider these actions:

 

·         Admit you have been dishonest

·         Admit you have made mistakes

·         Make necessary apologies and ask for forgiveness

·         Commit to maintain honesty and rebuilding trust

·         Allow others to hold you accountable to your word

·         Change your behaviors

 

As I close this article I am going to challenge you to consider a few thoughts about both the killer of dishonesty and cornerstone of trust.  Reflect on each of the statement below.  Notice that your answer choices are limited to “yes or no.”  I have presented it in this manner because there is no place in exceptionality for words like “sometimes” or “often” or “not sure.”

 

I am honest.	Yes – No
I am trustworthy.	Yes – No
I safeguard my honesty.	Yes – No
I do not tell white lies.	Yes – No
I do not tell bold lies.	Yes – No
I do not tell protective lies.	Yes – No
I do not steal items or services.	Yes – No
I do not steal confidences.	Yes – No
I do not steal reputations.	Yes – No
I keep my word, my promises and my commitments.	Yes – No

 

Now that you have considered these about yourself… ask these questions about each statement above:

 

• What do my peers say about these statements?
• What do those I lead say?
• What do my friends say?
• What does family say?
• What do people I do business with say?

Consider journaling your thoughts down as I believe journaling is a terrific tool for improvement.  As always, if you or your organization needs help with these ideals or principles, operators are standing by and I am a phone call away!